Just 'cause

I just need to vent a bit. I was watching oprah today..not a normal thing for me. But they were talking about abusive realtionships. And i can't even tell you the feelings that flooded back to me while watching this show. My ex had so many issues. And he always made me feel like it was my fault and very emotionaly abusive. He would tell me where i could go. He got mad at me if i was looking around because he thought i was trying to check other guys out..then i just started looking down alot. And i never was looking at other guys. REALLY! I realized the other day that i still do that from time to time just out of habbit. He would get so mad if i talked to my family and/or friends. And he would drink and get so mad and me and i wouldn't ever understand why and then in the morning he wouldn't remember. It was terrible and i am so glad that i am not in that anymore. Who knows what might have happened to me. i am so lucky to have Ben. He told me the other day that he hated how badly my ex had treated me. That felt so good. i didn't know that he even thought about it. And looking back on it i feel so stupid that i let him treat me that way. Love isn't supposed to be like that. I guess my point is that things can get better no matter how bad things are. And stand up for yourself..